Good morning, Taylor.

I’m having to write this letter all over again, because I started, but I lost it!

Ragdoll had been really really busy these last two weeks and I’ve watched my time shrink like crazy. But I haven’t been lazy. I’ve been trying to do things when I can, but the time is so short. The good news is that Ragdoll finally has nothing to do as of this afternoon, so I’ve had the evening to myself. A nice dinner, and a few chores and now I’m all done for now and can write my letter.

I ordered another outfit from the place Ragdoll gets her clothes. A nice Khaki top and leggings. But I only got the leggings. The top was all wrong. So she took some time out of her day to set up the return. Thankfully, she got the refund today, and put it towards the top. Maybe they’ll get it right this time. But I have nice jean leggings now, so no more borrowing from Ragdoll. She dresses really down, and nothing like I want to. So It’s nice to slowly be able to wear what I want.

I’ve made a lot of new friends in the last two weeks, but because of that, some of the news is leaking over to me. Ragdoll doesn’t want me looking at it. She says that’s her job, to deal with the world news and everything happening. I’m glad she’s protecting me from it. It made me so sad, I went to bed and cried. How can she deal with all that? She just tells me not to worry, and that if anything happens to put her in. How can she do it?

A few days later it was my day to go grocery shopping. We tried going somewhere that was close by but far enough that she wouldn’t get recognized. It wasn’t far enough, and she was recognized before we even walked into the grocery store. But I wasn’t going to stop, and I went grocery shopping anyways. I told her later we were recognized, and we decided that store was off limits for me. Another place I can’t go. We’ll just have to find another before my next grocery trip.

A few days later, Ragdoll got really sick again, and I hid from her. I didn’t want to come out, even if it was my day out, so she suffered alone. I felt really guilty about that. All this led me to being a little depressed. And with all my time being eaten by Ragdoll’s many jobs the chores got backed up. The house looked bad, the dishes piled up. She didn’t have time to do them, and I was barely out enough to do them. And even if I wanted to, I was too sad to do it. A few days later, she made some food, and gave me some hot off the stove, though, so I guess all is forgiven. I sat down and I cleaned house a few days later. It’s still not spic and span, but the dishes got done, and the house was de-cluttered. Now if I can just get enough time to keep it that way!

I ended up finishing my book, Klara and the Sun. It’s such a good story about a robot trying to save her friend. It’s the best book I’ve read so far, and the end made me cry. Poor Klara. I’ll remember with you, Klara. They say there’s a movie coming out of it soon. I hope it’s good. I couldn’t get the next book in the book club in time, so Ragdoll suggested a quick children’s book called Searching for Shona. The themes of identity really hit me hard, so much so I had a bit of a breakdown. A girl names Marjorie switches places with a girl named Shona in World War II and the fight she has to figure out how to be Shona, but also be Marjorie really made me start thinking about me. Am I real? I feel real. But am I? I don’t know. It raised so many doubts in me I put the book away for a while. After I figured I was real, I tried the book again, and it kind of walked away from identity and started playing with an abandoned house mystery. It’s been good so far.

I ended up cleaning house again last week, and decided to reward myself by having lunch somewhere. I ended up going back to the Mediterranean place because it was open, and talked to some ladies at a local park who had the loveliest of puppies. And then I decided to to get some iced coffee and enjoy the river for a while. I even got some fresh blackberries right off the vine! It was a nice capper to a rough few weeks.

There’s been some good news in all this, too! Mostly with the crows. For a long time, they were being very wary. Swooping by me and the bird feeder but not landing. You could hear then cawing, and it felt urgent, but I couldn’t see them anywhere. Then I saw it. There was a hawk out there! I think the hawk lives nearby. I’ve already seen Mr Crow try to dive bomb it, but mostly I see it flying overhead. The crows don’t like it, and I hope that it not only goes away, but hope that the bird feeder isn’t drawing its attention.

And then something amazing happened. I few days before I hear the crows talking on a video. Mrs Crow rattled at Junior, who hissed back. Then she did this cooing noise at him, and Junior just sighed. Then Mr Crow came to visit on the fence. I threw him some peanuts and he wasn’t interested, which usually means he’s there to just visit with me. I talked to him a little, then I made the cooing noise I heard on the video. “Oodlehoo!” And he looked at me strangely. I did it again. AND THEN HE RATTLED BACK! I did my six clicks, and he cooed back at me! And we went back and forth a little. Cooing and rattling and clicking. I had no idea what I was saying, but we were talking! The first real direct back and forth with the crows. I was so happy. I really feel some days like they’re adopting me into their little circle.

I heard the crows go away to roost every night in a big colony. And Ragdoll had to run an errand near where I heard they stayed. So she let me stay in town and go to the place where they roost and find them. At first I couldn’t find them at all. Then I noticed a crow sitting in the grass, which I thought was strange. So I opened my window so I could get a better view. And that’s when the cawing hit me. Hundreds and hundreds of caws. So I found parking and walked to the roost. Hundreds of crows. Flying overhead, sitting in trees, cawing constantly. I made my clicks, hoping my little crow family might find me, but there were so so so many crows. Then I noticed a lot were flying away from me. And I thought that maybe I was the intruder here. I was scaring them away from the trees. So I left. I didn’t want to scare them from their home. But there were crows that watched and followed me. No cawing, no alerts, just watching. Maybe it was my crow family. If not, maybe they were just wondering who the monkey coming into the roost was.

I didn’t see the crows for a while after. And I thought maybe I had insulted them, ro scared them, or basically made them mad at me. Junior even showed up one day, and was cawing at me like crazy. Not an alert, or scolding, but more of a “I need your help!” But I can’t fly and I couldn’t follow him or understand him. Eventually he flew off, and I thought maybe something had happened to the crows. And I was worried that maybe they were hurt, and that I couldn’t help them all because I can’t speak crow or fly.

I shouldn’t have worried. The whole family came to visit a few days later. Mr and Mrs Crow, Junior, Heckle and Jeckle, even Slick! They were all happy to be in the yard, and there were peanuts for everyone in a big celebration. I was so happy to see them again after being so worried. That weekend I laid out a east for them, and found out Junior adores watermelon. Special treat for him. 🙂

And now you’re caught up! I’m going out hiking tomorrow somewhere. Not sure where yet. But I need some time out, and this weekend is the first time in a long time I have my full time for me. 🙂

I hope you’re doing well, and that the new job site is feeding you well!

–Andrea