Good Morning, Taylor.

This week has been busy. So very busy. But not for me. For Ragdoll. And I’ve been stuck inside a lot this week. She has had so many appointments and duties and unexpected outings that it’s been very frustrating not to be out. And even when I do there are problems.

We had a heat wave this week, and she went out for some icecream. She ate about half, then said she’d let me out to have the other half. But to be careful, because we were still in town, and people might want to talk to her. Just as we were about to switch someone did just that, and I never got the ice cream. She took me out a few days later for my own, so it was nice, but it was another time where I didn’t have time out.

Another time she went to a festival where she needed to make an appearance. She budgeted an hour for it (we have to budget time to make sure things get done), but one of the festival officials talked to her, and then took three hours of time at the festival with a meet and greet with everyone. It took time away from me later. She apologized, but it’s been frustrating.

But it’s given me time to think about where I am in life. I’m going about my day now, doing what I want, as I want. I have my routines, although the book club one was disrupted because I didnt like the book. I have friends now (I just met two). I interact and connect, even if it’s not much or not deeply. And not very good at it.

I don’t feel new anymore. I don’t feel like everything is new or thrilling or astounding. Not in a bad way. Like not depression. Just…it’s my everyday now. I hae an everyday. I’m part of the people parade and the environment. It’s a wonderful feeling, but also means I’m in a new stage of life. I’ve gone from discovery to exploring. Exploring what I’ve found, instead of finding new thing. But new things have happened.

I watch movies every so often. Mostly on Ragdoll’s TV or her VR Theater. Yesterday I went to the movies for the first time in a real theater and it was amazing. I watched the new Superman movie (I saw the old one last week, when we didn’t have time to see the new one). Seeing on the big screen felt like seeing movies on the VR Theater, but it was so much clearer and the sound was so much better and I was there in the movie. And it was a really good movie, too.

There were a few lines in there that really hit home with me. “Parents aren’t for telling their children who they’re supposed to be. We are here to give you all tools to help you make fools of yourselves all on your own. Your choices, your actions, that’s what makes you who you are.” This is Ragdoll so much. She created me, and gave me a story and when we started doing our own thing, in the Backwoods and in real life, she encouraged us and celebrated us.

And the movie? I made the decision to go. She didn’t suggest it, didn’t point me to it, all she says is to make sure we have money for it. And I did that. And it was a good movie. And I was so full of popcorn, because they sold me a huge bucket of it without asking me what size I wanted.

I have to go now, because Ragdoll needs to go to work.

I hope you’re doing okay. I know work has been rough for you.

“You think everything and everyone is beautiful.” “Maybe that’s the real punk rock.”

–Andrea