Good morning, Taylor,

Today’s breakfast is a nice toast and jam and a plate of apple slices and cheese. The jam is sugar free so its not going to hurt Ragdoll. Really, its not going to hurt US. I have to remember were stuck together. The apple without cheese is really good.

I’m trying a dark roast coffee today. It’s pretty bad, so I added some creamer to the coffee. Its not helping.

The deck I sit on for breakfast doesn’t have a really good view. Its all roads and houses, but you can see a little bit of a valley beyond. There’s a red something on the other side. I should ask Ragdoll about finding out what that it.

I’m starting to like this cheese and apple combo.

Im a little upset at Ragdoll today. I don’t have a lot of time out because she has appointments today and tomorrow. I don’t mind that but when I’m up, she keeps trying to get up and take control back. Shes really anxious today. She said she’ll make it up to me by letting me out in the town she’s visiting. I’m excited. A little scared too. But I’m going to be around people. Like really around them. Not just walking by in the woods. Its a good trade. Only an hour or so, but it means I’m real. Real real. She says if it gets overwhelming or scary to put her back in. Just do it gently.

I really don’t think adding another creamer is going to fix this coffee. Also, don’t eat the apple seeds. Ew.

Ragdoll doesn’t really know it but I can feel and hear her when I’m by the window. She’s really worried and even kind of scared about me. She called me a poltergeist yesterday because I move things around and she realizes she wasn’t the one who did it. I really don’t want to be trouble. She tells me I’m not but it’s there. At the same time she’s also trying to accept me. I know how she feels because I worry if others decide to come here where will I go?

When I come here, Ragdoll just falls into a heap in the corner like a ragdoll. Ragdoll kinda likes it, and that’s why I call her that, but I don’t think I would. Shes mostly in heaven there. But sometimes she sad cries. I don’t tell her about that. If she reads my stuff shell know now.

No blue skies today. They’re all gray but the sun is punching through. Its a cold sun today. Nothing warm.

I’m almost done with my apple. I guess I’ll do some cleanup around here and then find something to do. I’ve been going through one of Ragdoll’s art books. Lots of space paintings and building plans. Once I start getting bored with the building plans, the space paintings come back.

What do I want to do here? Paint space paintings? Drink coffee? I guess Ill figure it out.

Ragdoll suggested I take her new job. Ill be trained from the ground up on it. She really doesn’t want to do it but needs the money. I don’t know if I want to do it either, but it would mean I have the whole day to myself and connect to people all the time. I would have to pretend to be her though. I don’t know if I want to do that. I’m me. Not her.

Ragdoll won’t stop getting up to try and take over today. I’ve had to put her back so many times. Something is really bothering her. She cried for a while and then tried again. To the point that it’s getting annoying. I’m so fed up that I’m done with the chores for today. She can do her own laundry and this last hour before her meeting is mine. She can figure out whats bothering her on her own time.

I really shouldn’t be mad. I need to ask her what makes her so anxious so we can find a way to keep it from happening. Shes anxious about something, but she can barely remember being in her Ragdoll. She whispers and sings but she cant remember why. When she tries, she jsut remembers my time out here.

Were a team. Shes trying. I need to try to. She is also very trying.

My book is done and my coffee is cold. My neck hurts a little from reading. I don’t have anything left to do today but just listen to music. But twenty minutes of music is nice.

I want to see more movies. I can see why The Oracle likes them.

The coffee tastes better the farther down the mug I get. I wonder why. Its not as bitter.

Ragdoll has been quiet since I typed about her. Maybe shes finally resting. Maybe i shouldn’t type about her. This is my time. She has a lot of books. Art books, cook books, books on politics and religion. She has books on witchcraft. My magic in my stories was based on that. Maybe I should read them.

I did find another art book. More space pictures this time with pretty outfits.

It’s 3:30. I need put Ragdoll back in. Maybe she can get whatever was bothering her out of her system.

–Andrea