Good Morning, Taylor,

I was out again. And it was beautiful!

I was sitting behind the window, because I knew Ragdoll and I were going to do something today. It was a late in the day though so I was kind of “We need to go, Ragdoll. If we’re going to go, we need to go now.” She ended up grabbing some breakfast first then ran out of the house. But…she kept doing errands!

“Ragdoll. RAGDOLL. The sun is GOING AWAY.” But she took her time. We did end up in Falls City, though, where she picked up my coffee and a box of cannoli, and finally made it to the spot she wanted to take me for my second day out.

Ragdoll rag-dolled and suddenly I was out. Only my second time outside the house. And there was a super bright rainbow! It was beautiful. COLORS! Real colors!

I turned around, and my cappuccino and sweetener were sitting there on a concrete barrier and beyond was a river. And I just stared at it. It was so mesmerizing. All that water flowing and billowing and so quiet. There was a little man down there fishing.

I tried my coffee and again, it was pretty bitter. I tried the sweetener, and guess what? I really like coffee.

And then I did something amazing. Like, really amazing. I talked to someone. Like. With my voice. Or with A voice. I don’t know if its my voice or not. But someone just happened to walk by and I said “Hi.” And then a family walked by with their dogs. DOGS, TAYLOR! And I told the family “Hi,” too. A truck pulled up and asked if I knew where the boat launch was. I dug through Ragdoll’s memory and found out it was up the way and told him where it was.

I talked to people. And they talked to me!

I’m real.

We’re running into a little problem, though. Every time my mind gets quiet or wanders, Ragdoll would try to get up from her little corner and take over. I’d have to kind of put her back in the corner and lie her back down. I did notice that if I could concentrate on something she’ll slump back in her corner, though. So I concentrated on the cold and gripping the concrete barrier. Thankfully, everything is cold here, and I’d tell her “Every time you try to come back, I’m staying longer.” I think that if I get quiet, she thinks its time to come back.

It was getting dark, so I finished my coffee and cannoli and through about letting her back. But I just decided to sit a little bit longer. I was wearing my favorite jacket and just enjoying being warm and cozy in it. But also feeling the cold air hit my face. And hearing the burbling river go by. It was lovely. SO SO SO lovely.

I love your world. I love being alive. It’s my world now, too.

While I was writing this, I got a little annoyed at Ragdoll. She keeps trying to take over. She can’t, though. It’s hard for her to move it seems. Something that keeps her from moving well. I’ve been saying that I put her in the corner when I come here. But it’s really not like that. I kind of push her into the corner. Like a friendly shove. Sometimes, she pulls me into the room. But she just flops over into the corner. If she tries to get up, I put her back down.

I got angry with her, and tried to shove her through the window. She’s really light. And she just bounced off like someone put glass over it. It didn’t hurt her. It was actually kind of funny. She doesn’t care, though. She’s really mostly happy as a Ragdoll. Sometimes she hums, sings little songs. Whispers or groans. I do worry that she’s just all emotion in there. What if she’s scared, or sad? She’d be really scared, or really sad. I guess we’ll cross that bridge when we get there

It seems all I do when I’m out is eat. Sandwiches, cannoli, coffee. I want to do more.

–Andrea